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birthday
October 2009 
Circle game
Posted on Mar 5th, 2008
by 
earthmama
earthmama
Yesterday, my grandfather, who lived next door to me for the past 8 years, died after years of asthma and breathing difficulties.
He was able to be at home until hours before he left this bodily incarnation. My granmma, bless her tender heart, nursed him until there was nothing more she could do. His last moment of consciousness was yesterday morning, when he held gramma's hand and told her he loved her. After that he drifted off to sleep...
A fun-loving, family focussed man, Grampa was very different from me but also so similar.
He loved to tease and joke around, but had a kind and gentle heart. A simple person, of the depression era, he never "wanted" for material things. He loved and cherished the homemade cards and drawings the kids would make him. Although he was quiet and somewhat private, he did love to entertain close friends and family. I think I disappointed him greatly when I decided to become a vegetarian 16 years ago; he always wanted to share a "great big steak" with me! :)
Yes, grampa was a gem. He will be greatly missed...
Throughout this experience I have tried to remain fully present and open to the moment. Acting from my essence rather than my ego has been my goal....Here I am in a true exercise in letting go.....It is what it is.....
Today, my beautiful, wise and sensitive middle son turned 6. He is heartbroken over the loss (as is my daughter); and I wish there was something that I could do to help soothe the hurt... But instead of "fixing" I will just focus on being and loving.
Tommorow, my husband and I "March" forward into year 34.....
And so it goes...
He was able to be at home until hours before he left this bodily incarnation. My granmma, bless her tender heart, nursed him until there was nothing more she could do. His last moment of consciousness was yesterday morning, when he held gramma's hand and told her he loved her. After that he drifted off to sleep...
A fun-loving, family focussed man, Grampa was very different from me but also so similar.
He loved to tease and joke around, but had a kind and gentle heart. A simple person, of the depression era, he never "wanted" for material things. He loved and cherished the homemade cards and drawings the kids would make him. Although he was quiet and somewhat private, he did love to entertain close friends and family. I think I disappointed him greatly when I decided to become a vegetarian 16 years ago; he always wanted to share a "great big steak" with me! :)
Yes, grampa was a gem. He will be greatly missed...
Throughout this experience I have tried to remain fully present and open to the moment. Acting from my essence rather than my ego has been my goal....Here I am in a true exercise in letting go.....It is what it is.....
Today, my beautiful, wise and sensitive middle son turned 6. He is heartbroken over the loss (as is my daughter); and I wish there was something that I could do to help soothe the hurt... But instead of "fixing" I will just focus on being and loving.
Tommorow, my husband and I "March" forward into year 34.....
And so it goes...
joni mitchell - the circle game 1966 live
Access: Public
I am so sorry about your grandpa. I know you are celebratign his long life, but that you will miss him greatly. Sucha mixed time, his passing and your anniversary of 34 years! may you be filled with grace!
love,
mary
your fellow earthmama!
i am sorry to hear of your loss. he sounds like the kind of guy everybody should be lucky enough to have shared time with for sure.
love and light to you,
shirley
My thoughts and prayers are with you in this time of loss, and also wishing you joy in the celebrations of life you are having at this time. You are right not to want to try to “fix” the feelings of your children - this is a learning experience for them, and with your wise guidance they will have an even greater appreciation for their lives. It doesn't really matter how old or young you are anyways - losing someone you are close to is always painful - but we survive and move forward - something I've learned over the past year with my own several losses. Lean on your friends as you feel the need - we are all here for you. Gem :)
I am sorry for your loss and hope you will always cherish the good times you had together.
I know you'll miss him greatly. I can't imagine your grandpa being disappointed in you. Look at this beautiful tribute to his life. And YOU are a part of a still living tribute to him. His beauty live in and through you.
“Throughout this experience I have tried to remain fully present and open to the moment. Acting from my essence rather than my ego has been my goal….Here I am in a true exercise in letting go…..It is what it is….”
I sense that nothing is lost in his vastness of what is … it is only the form, the property, that is rearranged.
Peace be with you always, sweet one.
Shannon, dear one,
How sad, but somehow, soul-nurturing, that your grandpa's passing sits right in the midst of so many family holidays…birthdays…anniversaries…life is a circle, and love NEVER dies. My children lost their grandpa at about the same age your son is now, but they still remember him and keep him close in their hearts.
Let our love help sustain you now. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
Shannon..
What a beautiful granddaughter you are! Celebration of your dear grampa's life and the 34 years he was in yours is indeed a blessing…and now he is your angel.
Loving you,
Aley
Hi Shannon. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, well it feels like that anyway even if maybe it's just a change in the relationship. Anyway I stopped by to wish you a happy birthday. When I saw your status I popped in here to see why.
So how about some cake with bittersweet chocolate?
Shannon, I know this goes against convention to say this, but when I read your blog, I didn't see loss, I saw gain. I saw how your children gained such wisdom and stability from having his presence in their lives. How you gained from his optimistic and unassuming nature. The fact he regretted you being a vegetarian was sweet. He wanted to share the pleasure he got from having a steak with you. What a sweet tribute you wrote. Yes, you will miss his physical presence, but he has left you a gift which cannot be taken by disease or age. He left you his spirit. And, from what I know of you, and from what I have seen you write about your children, that spirit will live on and on through to the next generation too. I wish you strength, happiness and renewal in your coming “new year.” Spring is coming. Perhaps, you and the kids can plant some of his favorite flowers and watch them blossom and flourish. Love to you. Otter
Thank you all sooo much for your warm and wonderful words. They mean so much!
Love and light,
S:)
WoW he got to live at home until the end……. and then pass with his Beloved by his side……….what a wonderful and lucky man……… and how lucky you are to have him….he still lives in your heart…….My papa passed 20 years ago…… but he is still very much with me……you will see….Of course you will miss him…..When I miss papa I talk to him and he is there listening……..I feel him all around me…… like a cloak of warm diamonds ……lighting up and warming me through any dark night………or I talk about him and usually I laugh and he is there laughing too……..I see him in the eyes of my children…..and I see his face now…… when I look in the mirror…… as I look like him more and more as I get older……How blessed and fortunate we are……. to be able to experience…… Love that is true….. and unconditional and everlasting…….my papa and me……your granpa and you……Such an amazing treasure is Life in all it's cycles…These days many do not have a connection to their grandparents…..families live far apart……..how very fortunate and Blessed we both are…………..How very grateful………..Much love and peace I send to your heart.
So sorry to read of the death of your grandfather, Earthmama. I feel like I have had so much loss in the past year…. it has simply served to ripen my heart and open myself more to others, also experiencing loss.
Know there are people who care deeply.
Sending You and Yours all my Love!!!!!!!!!!!!
(stupid computer FINALLY let me visit pages without crashing! I apologize for not being around these parts more…but not for lack of trying!!!)
Much Love now and Always!